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21 April 2007

Shooter

Now I'm a fan of Marky Mark. Strange, but true. I remember girls stealing his Calvin Klein poster ads from the streets of New York.

From my PR perspective, Marky Mark gives good interview. Have you ever seen him talk? He gives you what you want. He comes across as down to earth, every man's man, and every girl's dream. I wonder how much of his dialogue is choreographed. It's hard to tell.

But still, there's something endearing about Marky. It's the little things he drops in interviews, like the way he casually mentions his mom (as in, my mom wonders why I always have to show my naked butt on film) and exercising (as in, I can't wait till I can stop going to the gym and just get a beer gut) and religion (as in, my parish priest keeps asking me when I'm getting married).

I also loved him in Boogie Nights. How could you not? Aside from the raunchy storyline, the groovy 1970s costumes were great, and I thought Marky Mark did a great job. Hello?

But this movie, Shooter, is another story altogether. Oh boy, I can't begin to tell you how bad it is. Part way through, I thought the whole movie must be a spoof, like Scary Movie.

The concept of the movie was good. I even liked it. You know, good versus evil and all that, will a little Corrupt American Government thrown in, just to spice it up.

But it's the actual screen writing that let's everyone down. OK, how about the scene where the guy was hooked up to some contraption to make it look like he's committed suicide? And Marky Mark comes to the rescue. Just in time. And as Marky Mark states that he's going to go after the guys who did all this badness, he says, "You don't understand. These boys killed my dog."

These boys killed my dog? Please. You've got to be kidding. Please tell me somebody wasn't paid to write those words. Now if you see this movie, and you make it through to this scene, tell me: is it not ludicrous?

Speaking of which, how about the scenes where the "nurse" is operating on Marky? Those scenes were just gratuitous attempts to show off Marky's great bod. Granted, I'm not absolutely opposed to such shots, but really, there is a limit to how much eye candy can legitimately be shown. It's all really too much! I can't go on, this movie is killing me!

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